How To Improve Your Sense of Humor by Discovering What Makes You Laugh

People think a sense of humor is something you’re born with. Either you got the funny gene or you didn’t.

I hear it all the time. “My brother’s the funny one.” “I’m more of the audience.” “I just don’t have a sense of humor.” And I get why people think that. When you see someone who’s naturally hilarious, it looks like magic. Like they were handed something you weren’t.

But here’s what I’ve learned from coaching people. A sense of humor isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you discover.

Humor Is Human

I like to say humor is human. Everyone already has some way of expressing themselves in a humorous way. Everyone.

Maybe you’re the one who makes weird faces when something’s awkward. Maybe you have a dry, sarcastic way of describing your day. Maybe you’re great at impressions, or you notice the tiny ridiculous details nobody else catches. Maybe you only show it with your closest friends or in the group chat. But it’s there.

The problem isn’t that you don’t have a sense of humor. It’s that you haven’t spent time getting to know it. Most people never stop to ask what their humor actually looks like. They compare themselves to the loudest person in the room, decide they’re not that, and stop there.

So let’s get to know yours.

Step One: Make a List of What Makes You Laugh

The best way to discover your sense of humor is to start with what makes you laugh in the first place.

Grab your phone or a notebook and start a list. Write down anything that made you laugh recently. A clip you watched, a comedian you love, a meme your friend sent, something your kid said, a moment at work, a scene from a movie you’ve seen a hundred times.

Don’t filter it. Don’t worry about whether it’s sophisticated or silly. If it made you laugh, it goes on the list.

Try to get at least ten things. Then keep adding to it over the next week. You’ll start noticing funny things more just because you’re paying attention. That’s the first sign your sense of humor is waking up.

Step Two: Define Why It Was Funny to You

Next, go through your list and ask yourself a simple question about each item. Why was it funny in the first place?

Try to define it and label it. Was it the surprise? Was it how awkward it was? Was it someone being brutally honest? Was it the exaggeration? Was it that it was so relatable it hurt? Was it the timing, the facial expression, the absurdity of the whole situation?

Don’t overthink it. Just write a few words next to each one. “Painfully relatable.” “Totally unexpected.” “Said what everyone was thinking.” “So dumb it was genius.”

This part might feel strange at first, because most of us never explain why we laugh. We just laugh. But putting words to it is where the discovery happens.

And then something interesting happens.

When you define what makes you laugh, you’ll notice that the way you describe it is completely different from how someone else would describe it. Two people can laugh at the exact same video for totally different reasons. One person laughs because the guy fell. Another laughs because of the look on his face right before he fell. Another laughs because of what his friend said after.

That’s not random. What you’re really doing when you define your laughs is expressing a part of your personality that’s already in touch with your sense of humor. The things you notice, the details you care about, the angle you see things from, that’s you. That’s your comedic point of view.

Look back at your labels. You’ll probably see patterns. Maybe a lot of yours say “awkward.” Maybe most of them are about honesty, or exaggeration, or wordplay. Those patterns are a map of your sense of humor.

I do this exercise with a lot of the people I coach, and it’s one of my favorite moments. Someone who swore they weren’t funny reads their list back and starts laughing at their own labels. They realize they’ve been funny in a very specific way their whole life. They just never had words for it. Once you have the words, you can start doing it on purpose.

Replicate It and Make It Your Own

Once you can see the patterns, you can start replicating them in your own way.

If you love awkward humor, start paying attention to awkward moments in your own life and describe them out loud to a friend. If honesty cracks you up, try saying the honest thing in a conversation, with a smile. If you love exaggeration, practice taking a small annoyance and blowing it way out of proportion when you tell the story.

You’re not copying the comedians you love. You’re borrowing the type of funny that already speaks to you and running it through your own life, your own voice, and your own experiences. That’s how it becomes yours.

A few ways to keep practicing:

Keep your laugh list going. Add to it every week and keep labeling.

Share what made you laugh and why. Telling a friend why something cracked you up is a great way to practice expressing your point of view.

Try one pattern at a time. Pick one style from your list and look for chances to use it this week.

Notice what feels natural. The jokes that feel easy to say are the ones closest to your real sense of humor. Follow those.

Your Sense of Humor Was There All Along

The big takeaway is this. You don’t have to invent a sense of humor. You just have to discover the one you already have.

Start with what makes you laugh. Ask why. Look for the patterns. Then bring those patterns into your own life in your own way. The more you do it, the more confident you get, and the more people start seeing the funny side of you that was there the whole time.

If you want help discovering your sense of humor and building the confidence to use it, reach out for comedy coaching and let’s find your funny together.